Villanelles by the Village People
by Adam Bertocci

(originally published on The Higgs Weldon, November 2016)

Young man, there is no need to feel dismay.
Pick up your frame and set yourself in flight.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.

Oh, young man, there's a place where you can lay
When you are short on money for the night.
Young man, there is no need to feel dismay.

Good men will find there ample joy and play
And every earthly pleasure to delight.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.

Wild men, rough and hungry from the day,
Can bathe and dine and be relieved of blight.
Young man, there is no need to feel dismay.

No man all by himself will find his way,
So shelve your pride and hasten to this site.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.

And you, I once in your sad shoes did stray
And no man nor the world cared for my plight.
Young man, there is no need to feel dismay.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.

—————

The navy lets you sail and make a stand.
You'll search for gold, and man's true pleasure find.
They want you as their newest man on hand.

A naval man protects the motherland,
And science well-applied expands his mind.
The navy lets you sail and make a stand.

The seven seas will ease the mind at strand,
For in the navy, dreams are not resigned.
They want you as their newest man on hand.

On shipboard one may sit in the grandstand
And meet a team to leave him not behind.
The navy lets you sail and make a stand.

If taking to adventure is your brand
Then to recruiting rosters you'd be signed:
They want you as their newest man on hand.

Be bold, and join a ship that's undermanned,
And to a brighter future be defined.
The navy lets you sail and make a stand.
They want you as their newest man on hand.

—————

You'll want to feel my body, if you can;
Its touch is one that all would yearn to know.
I strive to be a macho, macho man.

A body that's well-built is in demand
And all men seek to surmount that plateau.
You'll want to feel my body, if you can.

To jog each morning is my solemn plan,
And health spa workouts muscle strength bestow.
I strive to be a macho, macho man.

A macho's funky walk across a span
And shirts and chains his leading state will show.
You'll want to feel my body, if you can.

For great ideals will machos make a stand;
A life of freedom, swearing not to owe.
I strive to be a macho, macho man.

The god-son walks in anybody's land
Possessed of confidence and true brio.
You'll want to feel my body, if you can.
I strive to be a macho, macho man.

. . .