I guess that minor in English was a good decision.
BOOKS
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Two Gentlemen of Lebowski: What if… William Shakespeare wrote The Big Lebowski? "A blast to read." — GQ |
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SPRAWLING INTERNET PROJECTS
Overthinking Ghostbusters
"No-one has EVER thought more about Ghostbusters than this man… amazing." — Caitlin Moran
"A great in-depth look at every aspect of Ghostbusters." — io9
Web site
The Chopped-Off Hands of Star Wars
"Sure to make drooling, gore-thirsty Star Wars fanboys everywhere crap their pants laughing." — IGN
Web site
SHORT NON-FICTION
"Blurbs Beyond Books"
Points in Case——(humor, September 2024)
"Fantastic." — Gail Gauthier, author of The Hero of Ticonderoga
"We Just Can't Find Enough Boys to Do the Broadway Play"
McSweeney's Internet Tendency——(humor, July 2024)
"Newspapers, According to Their Titles"
Points in Case——(humor, February 2024)
"Eight Bits Against Eight Colors:
Super Mario Bros., Dick Tracy and the Almost Unreal"
The Super Mario Bros. Movie Archive——(essay, June 2019)
"Villanelles by the Village People"
The Higgs Weldon——(poetry / humor, November 2016)
"Ghostbusters" [National Film Registry]
The Library of Congress——(film review, July 2016)
"Skip the $4 Latte! And 9 More Personal Finance Tips"
Splitsider——(humor, December 2015)
"Sink or Swim"
Citrus Detritus——(personal essay, October 2015)
"What Your Favorite Color Says About You"
Defenestration——(humor, September 2015)
"Grandma Britney"
Hobo Pancakes——(poetry, March 2015)
"Son, this 'Monopoly' Investment Scheme is No Substitute for a Steady Job"
Splitsider——(humor, December 2014)
"Alternate Forms for Shakespeare's Sonnet 18"
The Morning News——(poetry / humor, October 2014)
"Recommended reading." — The Millions
"Clickbait Pornography"
The Higgs Weldon——(humor, August 2014)
"A Filmmaker's Take On the Best Book on Film Editing"
Off the Shelf——(book review, July 2014)
"A Memoir That Turns Tragedy Into Poetry"
Off the Shelf——(book review, June 2014)
"The Piercing Wit of Oscar Wilde, the Satirical Fearlessness
of Jonathan Swift, and the Cheer of Grumpy Cat"
Off the Shelf——(book review, April 2014)
"Selections from the Stay Puft Marshmallows Corporate Twitter"
The Toast——(humor, March 2014)
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"Suit the Word to the Action: An essay on the language in the film The Big Lebowski, My piece runs first, so you can actually read it for free |
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"Pawn Promotion:
Art, Computer Chess, and Life After Thirty"
The Junior Varsity——(essay, October 2013)
"Star Trek Vs. Star Wars:
Fans Weigh In on the Timeless Debate"
The Guardian——(essay, May 2013)
The typo in this essay was added by the editor, I swear. Insert 'Grauniad' joke here.
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"Please RT: Tweets from the sublime to the ridiculous, but mostly ridiculous. Read for free | Download PDF for free | Buy on Kindle for $0.99 |
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"Man or Muppet?"
Ain't-It-Cool-News——(essay, March 2012)
One of three winners of a contest
asking readers to respond to a song in the film.
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"Twenty-Four Hours to Twelfth Night: High culture, low sleep and Anne Hathaway. Read for free | Download PDF for free | Buy on Kindle for $0.99 |
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"The Modest Case for Ben Affleck
as Unwitting Chronicler of Millennium's End"
The Junior Varsity——(article, July 2011)
"The Continuing Mystique of the Pink Cadillac"
Rods & Wheels——(article, September 2006)
SHORT STORIES
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"Travailing Through Time" In a distant past, something radical is about to happen. |
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"The "I Want" Song" The struggles of art, creation and a doomed student musical. "Witty prose and relatable characters." |
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"Brydenhammer" One night, two movies, three friends and no idea what's next. |
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"I'll Never Forget You" Dealing with death at sixteen sucks. "Maybe this will be too emotionally trying for some people to read." "Creates a mood and feel that's hard to shake." — Umney's Alley |
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"The Hundred Other Rileys" Riley's taking stock of her life. The other Rileys are taking stock photos. "Mind-bending… Inventive and original." — A Ruined Chapel by Moonlight |
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"Samantha, 25, on October 31" Be scareful what you witch for. "Has the power to say things I always thought, but never could articulate, even to myself." — A Ruined Chapel by Moonlight |
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"Wordsworth, Wilde and Wizards" Meet the new English teacher at a magical school. "I can’t help but enjoy the lengths to which
Bertocci goes
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"Indoor Cat (Selected Observations on Love in the age of coronavirus, as told by a cat. |
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"Your Move" An oral history of rivalry, envy and art at a high school chess club. "Bertocci's ability to get into the heads of his narrators has rarely been on better display… I had a blast." — Umney's Alley |
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"The Gossamer Girls Go for Glory" A Rust Belt a cappella group gets their big chance. "An engaging, well-told read." — Umney's Alley |
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"Laura & Maura" Two cousins are in for one crazy night right before the SAT. "Pure classic broad comedy fare." — Umney's Alley |
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"Bandit Beloved" She's the perfect woman. Except when she's a raccoon. "Enthralling writing… natural and well-executed" |
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"Crappy Valentine’s Day" A not-that-romantic comedy of errors. "This feels like a visit from an old friend." |
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"Ex Marks the Spot" Halloween's a scary night for a bad breakup coming back to haunt you. "Captures the warm nostalgia of Halloween in an unapologetically fond way." "Bertocci nails both the rhythms of teenage patter but also the way that relationships can loom so large over the world when you're that age." |
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"Confessions of an Off-Brand Princess" Cinderella retold with a birthday party rent-a-princess. "'Confessions' captures perfectly the awkwardness of those college years, where youre not quite an adult but not quite a kid." |
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"Caitlin Among the Beasts" A comedy about finding grace and other things that get away. |
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"The Dark Discord of Ravensbane and Kim" The scariest thing is being outgrown. |
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"The Girl from Ventnor Avenue" Normal people don't have a monopoly on love. |
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"For My Next Trick…" A conjurer's crush feels like magic. |
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"The Snow Queen of Somerville High" She loves winter, sledding, snow and the cute new guy at school. "Bertocci has a gift for taking a simple, even mundane concept, and infusing [it] with interesting philosophy and cleverly constructed wordplay." "A great little romantic tale, one with a good heart." |
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"Second Thoughts About the Fourth Dimension" A bride-to-be wonders if the timing is right. |
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"Watching Wonderful" Strangers bond over a Christmas classic on TV. "It's a very short sketch, but it's effective… strong literary fiction." |
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"Veronica's Vengeance" Revenge, ambition, intrigue, fear and other teenage girl stuff. "About as pitch-black a black comedy as you can get… hilarious." |
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"The Usual Werewolves" Paranormal romance bites. "It's funny and adorable and I cannot believe how much I liked it." |
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"The Land of Rock" Little sisters grow up so quickly. (Includes bonus essay about the creation of the story.) |
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"Kaylee and Breck and the Very Worst Songs of the '90s" A relationship autopsy, with help from preposterous music. |
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"Talking to Xyr" The woman he loves announces that she isn't a woman. |
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"In the Days in Between" Best friends face the summer between high school and the rest of their lives. |
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"The Noble Court of Princess Kelseypants" A '90s prom through the eyes of a girl whose mind is a little bit different. |
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"Chicken Crossing" Why did the chicken cross the road? |
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"Kiss Me, I'm Iris" Luck is in the air for the girl who won't wear green. "I really liked Iris. She reminds me of me, when I was that age." |
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"The Clinch Cover" A romance novel cover designer finds love. |
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"The Fairfield County Friday Night Gridiron Bonanza" A beautiful cheerleader, a small-town tragedy and a terrible secret. "It's a really great piece of work." — The Library Police |
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As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
PLAYS
Miranda from Stormville
(full-length drama; premiered March 2019)
"Compassionate, funny, and invigorating." Culture Catch
"Wonderful character-focused work… an ambitious concept… poignant." Theater in the Now
"Manages to capture the spirit of Shakespeare's original play… a great show." OnStage Blog
Web site
Two Gentlemen of Lebowski
(full-length comedy; premiered March 2010)
"Critic's Pick" — Back Stage
"Arguably one of the most inventive pieces ever created." — Broadway World
"Thoroughly engaging… gasping-for-air hilarious." — Theater Online
Web site
I am represented in the publishing field by Lindsay Edgecombe
of the Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary Agency.
I do not have representation as a playwright.
